Traditional Indian homes have a problem with nails... cutting nails. There is never a right place or time or location for this job. There are elders specially designated, whose sole vocation in life, is to police nail-cutting at home.
"Why are you cutting your nail.. of all days... on a Tuesday? Couldn't you find a better day?"
If you postponed the activity to a different day, you still invited obtuse comments. "Cutting nails.... on a Friday!? Do I need to tell you every time that it is simply not done !? It is ashaucham (unclean) I say!!"
If you got the day right, you ran out of luck with the time of the day. "Why would you cut your nails now? You had the whole day in front of you! After sunset, it is forbidden to cut nails! Don't you know that? Couldn't you find at least some time... during the day!?"
As for the location, no place was good enough. The drawing room (living room) entertained guests who could pop in at any time. Hence, that room was out of bounds for this activity. The kitchen was out.. for obvious reasons. The balcony had other issues.. you don't want to spread your arms and legs to clip your nails and invite attention from the neighbouring flats. The little foyer leading to the balcony seemed an appropriate place... but you were castigated for that too... "Never sit between two rooms to do anything! You know what happened to Hiranyakashipu.. the rakshasa don't you? He had his entrails torn out by Lord Vishnu.... by placing him in the foyer...!!"
If you got everything right and did manage to clip nails, then an errant nail strayed away from the cutting scene and got you into trouble! "Learn to keep a well spread newspaper below...so that nails don't fly away in all directions! You do know.. that Goddess Lakshmi.. never stays in the house where nails are carelessly strewn around.... don't you!!? There is even a shloka which says that if Lord Vishnu had such unclean habits... Goddess Lakshmi will divorce him too!!. Let me recall that shloka... It says......" It is prudent to slink away from the scene at these times.
We often wonder how Lord Vishnu clipped his nails... or perhaps, considering the hazards, he actually didn't! Possibly, that was the reason.. he could emerge from the pillar with... nails like a lion... to finish off Hiranyakashipu. The only other occasion where nails played a prominent role.. was the Afzal Khan-Shivaji duel... where Shivaji with his bare hands.. and tiger nails... clawed his way into Afzal Khan's stomach.
Nail cutters are docile instruments. Some of them resemble a butter knife at best... and just don't have the necessary teeth to clip nails... especially if it is a recalcitrant toe-nail. If you applied more pressure than necessary, the whole apparatus dismantled to pieces.. and the entire activity had to be abandoned! Of course, you had to wait for the all the planets to align again in terms of day, time and location... to start nail cutting all over again.. this time.. with a fresh instrument!
Sometimes, it seemed easy to pare nails of one hand with the other. The hands are after all far more dexterous than any nail cutter. The only downside to this technique was that.. after getting a few fingers right, you invariably ran into trouble with the last finger. In your impatience to peal the nail off... you often pealed it so deep that... along with the nail... it tore off a bit of skin! Ouch! For the rest of the day, you howled in pain....with the finger now wrapped with a kerchief...blotted with a dash of blood. For sure, you invited incisive comments from nail-cutting policemen at home.. which didn't exactly lift your already pained spirits!
Nail biting needs to be encouraged. It is simplest and most effective way of clipping nails. Of course, clipping toe nails wouldn't be easy... but you can always try... with the foot in your mouth!
India-Pakistan Cricket matches in the 80s created a whole generation of nail biters! Many a Cricket fan lost his nails and sometimes even the fingers.. as he sat at the edge of his seat the entire day to watch some nail biting finishes....... only for Javed Miandad to spoil the party with a last-ball six! It was terribly agonising!
But you can always spot a nail-biter.... his nail stands out like a sore thumb! For one, the nail would be stubby and short..... the tip of the finger swollen..and completely encircling the nail..giving it the appearance of a shapeless, sunken crater. The finger exuded an odour of its own.. which made shaking hands with this species not the pleasantest of activities!
The nail biter has his own problems... having bitten the nail off... he often looks around for the most expedient method to dispose off the sliver. He would either have to gulp it.. or spit it off surreptitiously, both equally complicated.
If nail biters are an eyesore, women with long nails pose a different problem. Regardless of how well manicured and long and shapely their nails are, a peculiar thought pattern holds us hostage. We imagine how this lady would write on the black board...and in the process, inadvertently scratch the board with her long nails....right from one end of the black board to the other.. and again from top to bottom. That singular thought is enough. It sends shivers down our spine and we are seized with a feeling of extreme disgust and revulsion.
That surely is the final nail on the coffin.... as far as this article on nails and nail biters...goes!
"Why are you cutting your nail.. of all days... on a Tuesday? Couldn't you find a better day?"
If you postponed the activity to a different day, you still invited obtuse comments. "Cutting nails.... on a Friday!? Do I need to tell you every time that it is simply not done !? It is ashaucham (unclean) I say!!"
If you got the day right, you ran out of luck with the time of the day. "Why would you cut your nails now? You had the whole day in front of you! After sunset, it is forbidden to cut nails! Don't you know that? Couldn't you find at least some time... during the day!?"
As for the location, no place was good enough. The drawing room (living room) entertained guests who could pop in at any time. Hence, that room was out of bounds for this activity. The kitchen was out.. for obvious reasons. The balcony had other issues.. you don't want to spread your arms and legs to clip your nails and invite attention from the neighbouring flats. The little foyer leading to the balcony seemed an appropriate place... but you were castigated for that too... "Never sit between two rooms to do anything! You know what happened to Hiranyakashipu.. the rakshasa don't you? He had his entrails torn out by Lord Vishnu.... by placing him in the foyer...!!"
If you got everything right and did manage to clip nails, then an errant nail strayed away from the cutting scene and got you into trouble! "Learn to keep a well spread newspaper below...so that nails don't fly away in all directions! You do know.. that Goddess Lakshmi.. never stays in the house where nails are carelessly strewn around.... don't you!!? There is even a shloka which says that if Lord Vishnu had such unclean habits... Goddess Lakshmi will divorce him too!!. Let me recall that shloka... It says......" It is prudent to slink away from the scene at these times.
We often wonder how Lord Vishnu clipped his nails... or perhaps, considering the hazards, he actually didn't! Possibly, that was the reason.. he could emerge from the pillar with... nails like a lion... to finish off Hiranyakashipu. The only other occasion where nails played a prominent role.. was the Afzal Khan-Shivaji duel... where Shivaji with his bare hands.. and tiger nails... clawed his way into Afzal Khan's stomach.
Nail cutters are docile instruments. Some of them resemble a butter knife at best... and just don't have the necessary teeth to clip nails... especially if it is a recalcitrant toe-nail. If you applied more pressure than necessary, the whole apparatus dismantled to pieces.. and the entire activity had to be abandoned! Of course, you had to wait for the all the planets to align again in terms of day, time and location... to start nail cutting all over again.. this time.. with a fresh instrument!
Sometimes, it seemed easy to pare nails of one hand with the other. The hands are after all far more dexterous than any nail cutter. The only downside to this technique was that.. after getting a few fingers right, you invariably ran into trouble with the last finger. In your impatience to peal the nail off... you often pealed it so deep that... along with the nail... it tore off a bit of skin! Ouch! For the rest of the day, you howled in pain....with the finger now wrapped with a kerchief...blotted with a dash of blood. For sure, you invited incisive comments from nail-cutting policemen at home.. which didn't exactly lift your already pained spirits!
Nail biting needs to be encouraged. It is simplest and most effective way of clipping nails. Of course, clipping toe nails wouldn't be easy... but you can always try... with the foot in your mouth!
India-Pakistan Cricket matches in the 80s created a whole generation of nail biters! Many a Cricket fan lost his nails and sometimes even the fingers.. as he sat at the edge of his seat the entire day to watch some nail biting finishes....... only for Javed Miandad to spoil the party with a last-ball six! It was terribly agonising!
But you can always spot a nail-biter.... his nail stands out like a sore thumb! For one, the nail would be stubby and short..... the tip of the finger swollen..and completely encircling the nail..giving it the appearance of a shapeless, sunken crater. The finger exuded an odour of its own.. which made shaking hands with this species not the pleasantest of activities!
The nail biter has his own problems... having bitten the nail off... he often looks around for the most expedient method to dispose off the sliver. He would either have to gulp it.. or spit it off surreptitiously, both equally complicated.
If nail biters are an eyesore, women with long nails pose a different problem. Regardless of how well manicured and long and shapely their nails are, a peculiar thought pattern holds us hostage. We imagine how this lady would write on the black board...and in the process, inadvertently scratch the board with her long nails....right from one end of the black board to the other.. and again from top to bottom. That singular thought is enough. It sends shivers down our spine and we are seized with a feeling of extreme disgust and revulsion.
That surely is the final nail on the coffin.... as far as this article on nails and nail biters...goes!
