Think like a tiger!

About a week ago, a friend of mine forwarded a video footage that was going viral. At the Bannerghatta safari park, a leopard is seen circling a tourist vehicle.  At one point, the leopard stands on its hind legs, raises its entire body and rests its forelimbs on the window. Next, it tries to insert its face into the bus. Just one tiny hop, and the leopard would have been right inside. The bus starts at this point. The leopard is distracted and leaves the vehicle. The video ends.

My friend expected a reaction from me. I did respond- with a big smiley emoji and the words- “See! I told you so!” There was a particular reason my friend sent this video. It goes back to an incident that happened about 12 years ago.

We were at Kabini with friends and family. We were about to go on a jungle safari. The vehicle arrived. Except for the section where the driver was seated that had covered windows, the rest of the vehicle was entirely open to the elements. No glass on the windows, no grill, nothing. It was designed to give a "full and unobstructed view."

The forest ranger announced, “We are going deep into the jungle to see some tigers!”  “What? In this vehicle? We are going into the jungle? And we are going to see…tigers? What if the tiger pounces on us? We will be sitting ducks then!” I protested, totally alarmed. The forest ranger replied, “Sir! Sir! There are no ducks. Only tigers! I have been conducting this trip for 25 years. Nothing has happened. I am there, no? Tigers will not do anything! I assure you! Tigers are the most beautiful creatures. If you leave them alone, they will leave you alone!”

“Sir, how can you answer for the tiger? Are you the tiger? For 25 years, nothing has happened. That is ok. But…but...something can happen, this one time! May be, the tiger got suddenly hungry. Who knows? It is so risky!”

The forest ranger replied, “Sir! There is risk everywhere, even when you are walking on the footpath! Anything can happen…at any time…to anyone!”

“For heaven’s sake, we are going into the tiger’s territory! How can the vehicle, not have a grill for the windows? It is a wild animal after all!” I asked. The forest ranger wasn’t going to back off so easily. “Sir, do you know the wildest animal on this planet? It is man! It is man! A tiger will kill only for food. A man can kill for a few paise! You want a grill for the windows? Ok. It may help you against the tiger. But then, what will you do if a wild elephant charges? A grill will be totally useless! It can topple the entire vehicle! What will you do then?”

The argument was going nowhere. Leave alone the tigers, there was now the wild elephant also to be factored! “Come on sir! Hop onto the vehicle! We are getting late! We will see some beautiful tigers, sir!”

Eventually, I took a hard decision. We will not go. The rest of the families, if they wished, could go on the jungle tour. I was certain they will spot some crows, some sparrows, some buffaloes, or maximum, a lonesome deer. Later in the day, the forest ranger gushed, “You missed it sir! You missed it! We saw a beautiful tiger, that too, at touching distance! At touching distance sir!”  Needless to say, there was a mutiny in the ranks and a riot within the family.

I am glad we are so fond of tigers. I am waiting for someone to post- “Went to the circus and saw this most beautiful tiger. So cute! Saw a tiger at the zoo, at touching distance! So beautiful! Wanted to give it a nice hug!” And some heart-emojis to go with this comment. After all, "janma-saaphalyam" can be attained only through a tiger-darshanam.

Let’s face it! These trips are not about the tiger at all. These trips are about us…about dare-devilry…about bravado…about putting our lives on the line…about tempting fate…all of this...to get those “thumbs-up” emojis…to boost our self-image…on social media! Isn't it?

“Sir! The next time, please fit a grill to the vehicle! I will surely come!”  I trailed off, as we left Kabini. “Sir, nothing will happen sir! Why are you so scared? A tiger is like a housecat! It runs away when it sees us with its tail between the legs. We look so scary sir! Think from the tiger’s angle, sir! Think like a tiger, sir!”

Poda!

 

 

Dum hai to pass kar!

This happened last week. While going to work in my office cab, I spotted a car just ahead. At the back of the car, a sentence was written. It read- “Dum hai to pass kar…nahi to bardaash kar!” Loosely translated, it would read- “If you have the guts, if you have the strength (dum hai), pass me, i.e. overtake the car and go ahead. If you cannot overtake, just stay behind the car and put up with me (bardaash kar)!”

Sometimes, you feel…as though the cosmic forces conspire to hand over the most topical message, gift wrapped and dispatched…just for you! The message can be sent through any vehicle, even the vehicle ahead! The more I pondered over this sentence, the more I was convinced that there was no greater teaching in life!

What does this line say? The first and foremost message is a “call for action”- “dum hai to pass kar”- “overtake this blessed car and surge ahead”! Isn’t this the message that Krishna conveyed to Arjuna? Arjuna, in your situation, you must be decisive and act…for any day, action is better than inaction- “karma jyaayah akarmanah”.

Krishna packs more punch into his argument-“Don’t be incompetent and put up with nonsense”, “klaibyam maa sma gamah”. Arjuna, you must do your bounden duty, you must fight- “kuru karmaani” and "yudhyasva".

The beauty of “dum hai to pass kar” is an additional, subtle point. Action should be “calculated and calibrated” and not done on an impulse. Rash daredevilry is also action, but obviously, it goes nowhere. Hence, the sentence says, “dum hai to”…“after having weighed all the pros and cons of the situation, including your own ability, your own strength, may you act”!

Now, we come to the second part of the sentence- “nahi to bardaash kar”. Sometimes, we face “choiceless situations” in life. Krishna calls this “aparihaarye”- “irremediable situations”. Action here is not of much use.  In such a situation, what should you do?  It is here that we get the great message of “kshamaa”- the ability “to cheerfully put up”, “to enthusiastically accommodate” and “to resiliently endure”. This is “bardaash kar”! Haven’t we heard- “what cannot be cured must be endured”?

All this flashed across my mind, even as the cab was stranded at Silk Board Junction for a good 45 minutes. The cab may have been static, but my mind was on a roll! Dum hai to pass kar…was like that prayer from Alcoholics Anonymous- “God! Give me the “strength” to change what I can, to “accept” what I cannot and finally, the “wisdom” to know what can be changed and what cannot be changed!”

I was indebted to the car ahead with its “dum hai” message for revealing life’s verities in a such a pithy and succinct manner!

The mind is a monkey! It can plunge "from the sublime to the ridiculous” in an instant! “Dum hai to pass kar” had an alternative interpretation. The most iconic song of the 1970s was “dum maaro dum, mit jaaye gham!”- “Take a puff, take a smoke, and watch all your grief and sadness melt away!” Truly, those times were modern to convey such a thought-provoking technique as a panacea for all problems in life. In college, haven’t we come across the smoker’s camaraderie, where one friend eggs the other to join him in those collective puff sessions? “Machaan! Pass the dum da!” This is exactly what “dum hai to pass kar” is talking about!

For the rest of us, the smell and smoke gave a severe headache. It was a nuisance.  What do you do then? This is where “bardaash kar” fits in! You learn to put up, you learn to tolerate. "Dum hai to pass kar, nahi to bardaash kar" was such a versatile statement!

I forgot where I was. I burst out laughing...enjoying my own ridiculousness, bordering on madness! The cab driver glanced at me. His eyes were a mix of worry, panic and alarm. Who knows? He may have even abandoned the cab and run for cover, wondering what kind of co-passengers he had. How do I tell him- that an entire universe was brewing in my head?

I love Bengaluru with its enormous traffic snarls. It gives you infinite time and scope to let your mind run loose and totally...totally...wild!

So near and yet sofa!

Not everyone can be Hanuman. He carried a portable sofa with himself. Captured by the rakshasas, he was paraded before Ravana in the durbar hall. He created a sofa according to his specification- adjusted to the correct height and with the appropriate amount of cushion, using his own tail! From this vantage point, he scanned his audience- brimming with “I am the master of all I survey” and took on his adversary. The sofa gave him this added edge and advantage.

The rest of us have to make-do with sofas that come in all kinds of flavors. When I visit someone’s home, I am always wary of the sofa I am about to settle in. Some sofas are veritable “sinkholes”- the kind of sinkholes you read about in the newspaper these days. The entire road suddenly caves in and takes with it cars and even entire trucks! Some sofas are exactly this kind. The moment you sit on the sofa, it sucks you into its depths like the famed Bermuda Triangle. There is absolutely no time to take evasive action. Peering from the precincts of this well helplessly, you will soon need external help to extricate yourself from this blackhole!

At the opposite end of the cushion-spectrum are sofas that are “all bone and no flesh”! Decades of usage has ensured that the foam is virtually non-existent. Newton’s third law of motion comes fully alive. You impose your weight on the sofa. Its bony, wooden frame resists and gives back a counterpunch! After a few minutes, it hurts badly. You try different antics- using your palms as a support pillar to hoist yourself that extra inch and lessen the weight on your seat. When the attention is focused on the lower part of your anatomy, coherent conversation with the host is impossible!

In some cases, the cushion is a free spirit. Each time you adjust yourself, the cushion is equally animated and moves along with you. In extreme cases, much to your horror, it bounces off the sofa and falls over. It is now a scramble- to retrieve the cushion and give it back its rightful place. We don’t know who is more red-faced- the host for owning such a sofa or you…for being so terribly clumsy!

They talk about the “swinging sixties”. That was before my time. The late-1970s and early-80s had two major inventions that virtually defined these decades. One was of course the “safari suit” that invaded and captured the man’s wardrobe. The other was the “sofa cum double bed”.  No home worth its salt could exist without a “sofa cum double bed”. It was like owning an i-phone- your social status was tied to it.

When you visited someone's place, the first activity was a “live demo” on the functioning of the sofa-cum-double-bed.  It was truly a path-breaking invention. When space was at a premium, it functioned as a compact sofa by the day. And come night-time, you could unfurl and expand it into a full-sized bed. How you reacted to this “demo” had a direct bearing on what proceeded thereafter. A lukewarm reaction got you lukewarm, stale coffee. “Wow! This sofa-cum-double-bed is absolutely stunning…and wonderful! It is so-so comfortable!” Such a reaction endeared you to the host and got you the best coffee- strong, hot, and frothy and even some tidbits to go with it!

Sofas have evolved over the decades.  There are sofas that rock and sofas where you can hoist your feet and rest, all with the click of a button. We spot even “massage sofas”- where the cushion curls and squeezes your sides, to “loosen the tension in the muscles” so that you feel “light and relaxed”.

Regardless of the amount of “research” you’ve done before purchasing the sofa, once it sits in your living room, you invariably wonder- maybe, we should have got a less bulky sofa, or perhaps a lighter color.  Like all else, it is a case of being so near and yet sofa!

 

On trees!

A certain modern day Indian writer is at his eloquent best when he writes about trees. A master wordsmith, his writings evoke nostalgia, “Those were simpler times. Roaming around the verdant hills of Dehra, we spent the innocent days of our childhood…climbing trees and eating lichis!” The “climbing trees and eating lichis” theme has supplied this favorite writer of mine, with ample text to fill several essays, spanning decades!

Life is unfair. For some of us, the entire topic centered on trees must be given a miss. The topic simply doesn’t exist. Growing up in Mumbai, there were no trees and surely no lichis. What is this “lichi” by the way?

Back then, there were exactly 2 trees in the neighborhood. The first was cut down when the roots were perceived as a threat to the structure of the adjacent building. The second was sliced in one swift, decisive move. A makeshift screen had to be stretched across the building compound for the evening “film-show” during Ganpati time. The “aavla tree” was seen as a distraction, with its branches obscuring portions of the screen. There was no choice. The aavla-tree had to make way for the night show.

I would have also written about “spending the golden days of my childhood…climbing aavla trees and eating succulent aavlas”. Alas, that was not to be. Thanks to this prickly past, I am terribly weak when it comes to tree matters.

A month ago, while getting to the office cab in the morning, I saw Venkat busy with the apartment gardener. “I need a clump of these neem leaves. My son is just getting out of chickenpox!” Venkat explained. “Wow! These leaves are so huge!” I expressed my earnest admiration. Venkat was stumped. “You mean these leaves? That’s not even “neem”. That’s almond! Neem tree is the one behind the almond tree!”  Venkat could not contain his bewilderment anymore. “You don’t know neem? What tree do you know then?”

Without batting an eyelid, I replied “Coconut!”. Coconut and I share an edgy past. In one “inter-school drawing competition” centered on the theme of “Kashmir”, I drew an elaborate landscape. There was Dal-Lake, there were the shikaras skimming across the lake, there were houseboats and of course snow-capped mountains.  There was also one lonesome coconut tree stretched across the page. Back home, after the competition, sister didn’t mince words, “You drew a coconut tree in Kashmir? In Kashmir? Your painting will be disqualified!” I did not see eye to eye with sister. What was the problem with the coconut tree? Kashmir se Kerala tak, hum sab ek hain, na? Also, like “poetic license”, isn’t there something called “painting license” which allows “an artist’s imagination to run riot”? What about all that tall talk? But sister was right. I didn’t win. May be, they did disqualify my entry.

After my morning tete-a-tete with Venkat, sitting in the office cab, I did some soul searching. How many trees did I really know? There was banyan, there was ashwattha vrksha, there was coconut and then the gulmohar. May be, I can include the pine tree also. The count ended at this point.

It was a humbling moment. Suddenly, other irrelevant trees gatecrashed into the mind, in fact, three of them. There was the “family tree”, there was the computer-science “binary tree” and the “Bhagavad Geeta samsaara tree”. Surprisingly, all the trees I knew about, were “upside down” trees, with the “root up” and the “branches below” (urdhva mulam…adhah shaakham)!  

Kalidasa was also weak when it came to trees. We read that he tried to cut the branch on which he was seated and was surprised that it matched a bystander’s “prediction” and he fell down! But some divine grace helped him. He grew up to be a master poet and composed a full verse, exclusively on trees. He enumerates them by the dozen… “ashwattha…vata-vrksha…chandana..mandaara” and ends by saying- ”kurvantu nah mangalam”- may all these trees bless us!

We can take a leaf from this incident.  There is some hope for every tree ignoramus, even an ignoramus who cannot distinguish between the root, the shoot and the fruit! Shoot!