Crossing the road!

Crossing the road in India is not for the faint-hearted. It requires timing and judgement and above all, a sportsman’s agility. Schoolbooks have lovely pictures that show pedestrian rules, like using the zebra crossing. The ground reality is different. Zebra crossings are non-existent or if present, they are meant for zebras! Humans need to cross the road the hard way.

“Look to the left and right before crossing” is prudent advice, especially meant for our “one-way roads”. Invariably, there is someone driving the opposite way confidently. You have no choice but to watch out for this goon!

Metros with their multi-lane roads demand immense patience. All the lanes never clear up at the same time. But street dogs are street smart and have mastered the technique. They effortlessly maneuver one lane at a time, stop at that precarious point between the two lanes, wait till the next one clears, and so on. Once they are on the other side, they cast a triumphant glance at humans, still stranded at the opposite end. After all, every dog has his day!

Hesitation can be your worst enemy. You feel you can make it across and take bold strides. Midway through the road, you get the jitters and beat a hasty retreat. It is like a batsman who wants to steal a single, but changes his mind, half-way down the pitch! In the process, he puts himself and his runner at risk.

One brave approach is to run a 100-meter sprint like Usain Bolt. But fellow pedestrians warn you, “Never run across the road!” The advice is counterproductive. You wait for a clearing, but there’s none. There are cars and more cars, stretching all the way to the horizon, ad infinitum!

Someone alongside you has decoded the method to the madness. He blindly walks onto the road with an upheld hand. It seems an act of absolute foolishness, but it works! Miraculously, the cars avoid him, and he reaches the promised land!

Another trick is to use a fellow-pedestrian as a human shield. You leave the onus of decision making to him. You stick to him, and ape his movement, step for step. It is like the strategy that Arjuna used. He propped up a fellow soldier Shikhandi, as a human shield, to combat Bheeshma! The method works like a charm!

After 30 minutes of indecision and false starts, you finally made it! The euphoria is short-lived. You suddenly discover on your cellphone map, that your destination is on the other side of the road. You need not have crossed the road at all. You just had to walk ahead a few meters!

Some mistakes in life are costly!