Musical chair in a moving bus!

The pandemic has made us rusty. I realized it when I took the bus last week. I stood for the entire journey, incapable of finding a seat. It was like a lion that had lost its teeth and fretted, even as deer at arm’s length got away!

The public transport system bus is never empty. Once inside the packed bus, you need “controlled aggression” to find a seat. Too much aggression and you will be evicted from the bus! Too little of it, and you will keep standing.

The first step is to plan your strategy. You get to that vantage point on the aisle, that maximizes the probability to find a seat. Hanging around the last row is a good option. Unlike other rows, the last row is a full set of seats.

Next, you scrutinize the body language of the seated passengers. You move away from a row where someone is sleeping. He will wake up only at the last stop. You are better off edging closer to rows where students are seated. They are likely to be in the bus for the shortest ride.

It would be easy if you could ask each passenger where he is getting down. Unfortunately, it is considered discourteous. It is like questioning a person who has come home, on when he will exit! That leaves you with no choice but to play this game of musical chairs!

You have been standing for 45 minutes.  A person has just entered the bus and to his good luck, someone vacates, and he gets the seat! Several chances go begging. It is like being so close, and yet so far. Anger bubbles up!

Suddenly, a seated face looks agitated, peering this way and that. The expression is a giveaway. He is about to get up and you pounce at the opportunity. You bulldoze your way through the aisle, and are about to sit, only to be beaten by someone else! Worse, he gives you an ugly stare as you come this close to sitting on his lap! It is the survival of the quickest!

And finally, it rains like manna from heaven. Two seats free up at the same time. It is now a problem of plenty that requires a quick decision. You make your choice and sit down. The other seat is also taken.

The legs have never felt so tired. The relief is short-lived. At the next stop, an elderly lady gets into the bus. She points to the writing behind your seat. Swiveling back, you read the fine print- “for ladies only”!

Life is like a game of Snakes and Ladders. One false move and you are back to square one!