Do you recognize who I am?

South Indian weddings serve as a get-together for the extended family. If you attend one after a long time, you must endure a peculiar pattern of interrogation.

Out of the blue, someone holds you hostage with a tricky question. “Do you recognize who I am? Guess!” he asks with a broad smile. His over-enthusiasm unnerves you as he grabs you by the hand. You scrutinize his face and feel like responding, “I have not seen you from Adam!” Such an answer would be blunt. Risking a wrong answer could lead to more embarrassment. It would mean you do not know two people in the family! You settle with a safe- “You look familiar, but I am not able to place you!” And blame the pandemic for eating away the memory cells.

You hope he will end the suspense. However, he obscures his identity even more. You try to narrow down the problem- “Are you related to my paternal side?” He answers no and smiles! “Then, my maternal side?” He smiles even more and says no! He then makes an admission, “I am related to both your paternal and maternal side! Guess!”

A mild irritation sets in. You have half a mind to say, “Either tell me who you are, or leave me alone!” He now goes on the offensive. “This is the problem with you IT folks. You are stuck in your own cocoon. Only if you step out, you will know, who is who in the family! Your generation itself is clueless about uncles and aunts, cousins and nephews. The next generation is totally lost!”

He drifts off on a personal spiel. “In those days, your grandfather’s home had 10 children under the same roof! You have inherited the same nose as your grandfather! That’s how I could easily spot you!”

After a point, you give up. “I still cannot recognize you! Please tell me!” The opponent licks his lips. You wonder from where he is going to start. After all, any family tree is like a giant banyan tree, tangled all over! He announces confidently, “Your paternal grandfather Nagarajan and I are first cousins. And that is not all! The strange thing is- your maternal grandmother Avayamba and I are also second cousins!”

It is now my turn. “But my paternal grandfather is not Nagarajan. And my maternal grandmother was Lakshmi!”

The overflowing cheer on the opposite face is replaced with complete confusion. He leaves my hand he had tightly clasped till then. His voice fumbles, “You are Ajay, aren’t you?”

“No! I am Shankar!”

My opponent’s face changed several shades of color. Wonder why he sheepishly excused himself and left in such a tearing hurry!