The donkey needs a patron!

The donkey has been the butt of jokes for far too long. Back in school, during the morning assembly, the PT sir held the microphone. He had to ensure that we stood in straight lines. With 500 boys running riot, it was impossible to know their names. He invariably shouted, “You donkey! Come here!”  No one wanted to respond to the instruction. If someone volunteered, PT sir got more irritated, “Not you! The other donkey!” It took a lot of false starts before the eventual donkey was found.

No animal looks cuter than a baby donkey. With its beady eyes and its fur like a Turkish Towel, it is cuddlier than a teddy bear. And when it comes to utility, you cannot beat the donkey. It gives all help to the washerman without a complaint that it is carrying dirty linen in public.

How can the donkey get a makeover from its perceived foolish status? In India’s vernacular languages, the owl is considered foolish. The owl has equal reason to feel miffed. In the case of the owl, the English came to the rescue with the idiom, “as wise as an owl”. Unfortunately, the donkey has no patrons.

The donkey’s eyes are most beautiful- shaped like an almond. It is customary to refer to a lady as “doe eyed”. No one knows what a doe is. At least, everyone has seen a donkey. This phrasal change can be made.

Any change will take time to sink in. Undoubtedly, there will be prickly situations. Romeo may get slapped because he called Juliet “donkey eyed”.

The donkey surely deserves better. Can we adopt the donkey as our national animal? The response will be, “Why change? We already have the tiger”. Let’s face it, when we think of a tiger, we are overcome with fear. But even mention of the word donkey, brings an irresistible giggle. In a world filled with strife and grief, an element of humor can be added by voting for the donkey. Also, one day, the tiger may become extinct.  But the world will always have donkeys.

The only problem I foresee is the confusion it will cause, especially for children. A common quiz question is “What is India’s national animal?” Invariably, some child will answer “tiger”. You will now have to step in, “Wrong answer! It used to be the tiger, but now, it is the donkey!”

There are other complications. A student may ask, “Madam! Can you repeat the question?” She may get angry and snap at the student, “Donkey! Why don’t you pay attention when I am talking?”

And now, all the students will pounce on the teacher, “Madam! You gave out the answer!”