Wedding receptions...

Wedding receptions have an unwritten rule- “Never show up on time”. If you are on time, you may be roped in to put up the decoration. The norm is to reach a couple of hours late.

Receptions follow a template. The bride and groom take center stage. You wait for your turn in the queue to congratulate them.

Men and women dressed in all finery, shine like glitterati! Some carry an enormous bouquet, while others hold gift-wrapped parcels. Some of us are not as well prepared. Also, it is a matter of principle. Let’s face it- ultimately, “cash is king”. There is no better gift than loose cash. You fish out an envelope and fiddle with your wallet. Regardless of how unobtrusive you try to be, you invite attention. As luck would have it, the first note that comes to hand, is a demonetized note, still stuck in the wallet. Only when you see the shocked expression on the neighbor’s face, do you realize the error! Sheepishly, you take corrective action. You borrow a pen, scrawl the name on the envelope and now, you are ready.

When you are about to hop onto the stage, you are gently restrained. The previous group is yet to vacate. You go through the throes of stage fright, like a drama actor who cannot wait for his turn.

Your mind is cluttered with multiple possibilities. If you hold the envelope, you cannot shake hands. If you give the envelope first, the groom’s hands will be full. Remember, you cannot use the left hand for anything. If you keep the envelope in your pocket, you may forget it. There is a chance you may bungle up the lines. You wanted to be funny and ended up saying “marry in haste, repent at leisure.” You realized the blunder a little too late!

As you pose for a photograph with the couple, you receive conflicting orders from the photographer and the videographer. One person wants you to be still, while the other asks you to move about.

Soon, you are escorted to the dinner hall.  It is a sea of humanity, like a packed Mumbai train. Buffet dinners are messy. The food counters mill with people, cutting in and out at will, with soiled hands and used plates. It is a delicate balancing act, holding in one hand, the plate with multiple side-dish bowls. Children run helter-skelter like comets on a definite collision course! Any careless move can send either your plate or your neighbor’s crashing down. Over and above all this, is the steady din and babble of conversation.

You head to the curd rice counter. It is totally free. You gobble up a plateful and make a quick exit. 

On the way back, you glance at the hoarding with the names of the bride and the groom. To your horror,  you realize that you got the name of the bride wrong on the envelope!  Absent-mindedly, you wrote the name of the groom and one of his earlier college friends! 

Some mistakes are indeed costly!