The bread winner!

Sometimes, I seriously feel, I would have been a baker in a past life! Nothing else can explain the absolute delight, I find in bread! It is tough to explain the feeling to a non-believer. I can eat bread for 365 days of the year and more! Even the word “break-fast” is a misnomer- it should have been “bread-fast”!

The peculiar fascination for bread can lead to tricky situations. When you go on a trip, you often wake up in the morning, in time for “continental breakfast” at the hotel. There is an entire “spread”, arranged in buffet style. In India, you cannot beat the variety at breakfast. There’s steaming Idli and spicy Sambar, delicious Upma and sumptuous Pongal. You open the next casket on the breakfast counter. Once the mist of the emanating steam settles down, the eye comes face to face with golden Vadas. And yonder, there is crisp Masala Dosa, inviting you with the shine of burnished gold. For a foodie, this is heaven. Full-stop!

Something is clearly amiss. I summon the hotel manager and pop my question, “Where is bread?” He takes time to respond, as though, he’s taking time to process the word.  Totally puzzled, he fumbles, “Bread? Bread?”  Even my family is aghast, “There’s so much variety! Why would you eat bread? You can anyway eat bread at home!”

A bread lover has no explanation. It’s like the episode from the Mahabharata. Before the war, Krishna gave 2 choices to Arjuna and Duryodhana. One choice was to opt for Krishna’s entire Yadava army- all his soldiers, his infantry and cavalry, everyone armed to the teeth. The other choice was to opt for one individual- a non-combatant Krishna. Arjuna made the first choice and chose Krishna. Duryodhana couldn’t believe Arjuna could make such a ridiculous choice! When there was such abundance of power and might in the Yadava army, how could Arjuna opt for a measly Krishna?

For some of us, bread is like the choice Arjuna made! It is a “no-brainer”- there is no choice really.  It does not matter…what else is pitted against bread. Bread wins, hands down, each time, every time! The non-believer scoffs at bread as “tasteless” and “food meant for the sick and the convalescent!”

Father, forgive them, for they know not, what they say! Bread has infinite variety that a non-believer fails to see. We have “bread with jam”, “bread with butter”, “bread with ketchup”, “bread with cucumber and tomato” …what to talk of more exotic concoctions like “bread upma” and “bread pakoda”!

Plain bread is comfort food- soft and fluffy with its unique, subtle taste. Toasted bread, on the other hand, is a completely different breed. The moment it pops off the toaster, it is irresistible- tasty, crunchy and crispy!  Your finger runs after even the crumbs that scatter around with each bite! And then…when it comes to “Rusk” with hot masala tea in the late afternoon- the combination has no contenders!

Bread is your all weather, all-day friend!

These days, there’s a bewildering variety within the bread kingdom. We have “white bread” and “milk bread”, “wheat bread” and “muti-grain bread” and even “sweet bread” and “fruit bread”.  Bread’s close cousins, the “bun” and the Mumbai “pav” are undeniably important players in bread’s dream-team!

In the 1970s, the film “Deewar” had an iconic dialogue between Amitabh and Shashi Kapoor. Amitabh taunts Shashi Kapoor, “I have everything! Aaj mere paas…gaadi hai, bangla hai, bank balance hai! What do you have? Kya hai tumhare paas?” Shashi Kapoor looks at Amitabh in the eye and answers softly, “Mere paas maa hai! Mother is on my side!”

In my version of “Deewar”, this dialogue will get a complete makeover. Amitabh will spew venom with, “Aaj mere paas…sab kuch hai…Idli hai, Dosa hai, Samosa hai, Pongal hai! Kya hai tumhare paas?” Shashi Kapoor will now answer, “Mere paas bread hai!”

Bread is the ultimate winner. No wonder, we still ask, “Who is the bread winner of the family? We do not ask, “Who is the Idli winner or the Dosa winner?” Do we?