Thieves come in all shapes, sizes and intent. Some are occasional cheats, others are pathological shop lifters and still others genetically disposed to pinching the odd blanket in an airplane or the towels in a hotel room. However, there is a peculiar thief who has never been documented till date. In Mumbai parlance, he's called a "batting chor (thief)".
The batting chor comes from a particular background. He is an obsessively pampered, spoilt brat, with rich parents. If his domineering attitude is tolerated, it is with reason- No one in the neighbourhood has a Cricket bat and ball. He needs to be kept in good humour so that the rest of us can play the game. A sort of symbiotic relationship you can say.
No one wants to be a bowler or a fielder in this part of the world. It is a positively unenviable job to be a fielder- you have to jump over barbed wire fences and risk bruises or scale compound walls or run across the streets or fetch the ball from the gutter. As a bowler, your resources are limited. A tennis or rubber ball does little in the air or off the wicket. It stands up, just right for the batsman to give the ball a whack and watch it sail across the main road and disappear into the buildings in the distance. Little wonder, that this city has produced some of the best batsmen the world has seen but is yet to produce a bowler who would be on everyone's lips.
The batting chor loves batting. Get him out early or in a controversial way and he shows his dissent- he simply picks up the bat and ball and runs home leaving the rest of us high and dry! Game over! No amount of cat calls or abuses of "batting chor" can help. In fact, they are counter productive. You just have to wait for a change of heart (always from his end) and hope that you will get a chance to bat once his turn is over.
The "leg before wicket" dismissal was long removed from the rules of the game to avoid an obviously ambiguous element. Still, controversy stalks the game- simply because there are no stumps! Cricket is typically played in a building compound with the stumps drawn by hand on the wall- often with a broken brick or with a crushed leaf. Clean bowled is now no longer clean- the stumps don't take a walk neither do the bails fly! The batting chor cannot be convinced that he is out bowled. He insists that the ball hit a different part of the wall and not the stumps. In the absence of hawk-eye and replays, the bowler and the fielders are clearly helpless with the batsman playing the umpire's role as well.
Of course, we devised an innovative method to fix the problem. A bucket of water was brought in- the tennis ball was dipped in the water and bowled each time, so that it would leave its unmistakable imprint on the wall. That way, the evidence was there for all to see. But a disgruntled batting chor is hard to please. His excuses are many and sometimes we just have to indulge him.
I am tempted to point out that we have documented evidence of a certain Dronacharya who groomed his favourite Arjuna by ferrying him across the Mumbai maidans everyday so that even if he is dismissed early in one match, he gets a chance to bat in another! Would this also qualify as promoting batting fiefdom ?
We don't care if the means are questionable provided the result is a Cricketing God!
The batting chor comes from a particular background. He is an obsessively pampered, spoilt brat, with rich parents. If his domineering attitude is tolerated, it is with reason- No one in the neighbourhood has a Cricket bat and ball. He needs to be kept in good humour so that the rest of us can play the game. A sort of symbiotic relationship you can say.
No one wants to be a bowler or a fielder in this part of the world. It is a positively unenviable job to be a fielder- you have to jump over barbed wire fences and risk bruises or scale compound walls or run across the streets or fetch the ball from the gutter. As a bowler, your resources are limited. A tennis or rubber ball does little in the air or off the wicket. It stands up, just right for the batsman to give the ball a whack and watch it sail across the main road and disappear into the buildings in the distance. Little wonder, that this city has produced some of the best batsmen the world has seen but is yet to produce a bowler who would be on everyone's lips.
The batting chor loves batting. Get him out early or in a controversial way and he shows his dissent- he simply picks up the bat and ball and runs home leaving the rest of us high and dry! Game over! No amount of cat calls or abuses of "batting chor" can help. In fact, they are counter productive. You just have to wait for a change of heart (always from his end) and hope that you will get a chance to bat once his turn is over.
The "leg before wicket" dismissal was long removed from the rules of the game to avoid an obviously ambiguous element. Still, controversy stalks the game- simply because there are no stumps! Cricket is typically played in a building compound with the stumps drawn by hand on the wall- often with a broken brick or with a crushed leaf. Clean bowled is now no longer clean- the stumps don't take a walk neither do the bails fly! The batting chor cannot be convinced that he is out bowled. He insists that the ball hit a different part of the wall and not the stumps. In the absence of hawk-eye and replays, the bowler and the fielders are clearly helpless with the batsman playing the umpire's role as well.
Of course, we devised an innovative method to fix the problem. A bucket of water was brought in- the tennis ball was dipped in the water and bowled each time, so that it would leave its unmistakable imprint on the wall. That way, the evidence was there for all to see. But a disgruntled batting chor is hard to please. His excuses are many and sometimes we just have to indulge him.
I am tempted to point out that we have documented evidence of a certain Dronacharya who groomed his favourite Arjuna by ferrying him across the Mumbai maidans everyday so that even if he is dismissed early in one match, he gets a chance to bat in another! Would this also qualify as promoting batting fiefdom ?
We don't care if the means are questionable provided the result is a Cricketing God!
nice read :) And fabulous idea to out-smart the batting chor :)
ReplyDelete