A pipe dream!

Some expressions in English are confusing. We've long lost the context in which they were originally used. Take the expression- "It is a pipe dream". Today, it is used to convey an idea which is fantastic, but has absolutely no hope of being realized. There is a feeling of helplessness and a deep anguish associated with the phrase and invariably conjures up grainy, black and white images of perennially pained characters like Guru Dutt! 

How did "pipe dream" originate? Would a budding plumber have started it- with a modified version of Martin Luther King, Jr's speech: "I have a dream....... well, actually... a pipe dream!"? Is "pipe dream" a compound noun or is "pipe" an adjectival usage? Can we "pipe" dreams and use it as a verb?

Moving into a newly constructed home is a pipe dream for many of us. Everything is in place but the running water! We grapple with civic authorities, make several trips and when all else fails, we grease a few palms as well. After all, I am not Anna! The pipes are laid out and the connects greased all right, but when we cup our palm below the tap, not a droplet of water trickles out of the pipe! In exasperation, we throw up our hands and exclaim- it is still a pipe dream!

Mumbai is a city of staggering contrasts. There are some who gift an entire 70 storey building to their wives and others who spend a lifetime in the hollow of a roadside pipe! Above all, we are made to believe that it is a city of dreams- of people who land up from nondescript villages with no money, stay in a pipe and dream big! It surely is a pipe dream.

"Everything I like is either illegal, immoral or fattening!" chuckles an old-timer with a wry sense of humour! "I work hard and earn good money. If I have a vice, it is just this one- to smoke an honest pipe at the club, over a game of cards. Am I not entitled to this simple pleasure? I don't need this pontification from the likes of you- that smoking is injurious to health and I shouldn't smoke in public places! Where else can I indulge in my pipe dream?"

A "Coffee rasika" is finicky with an unreal expectation. The coffee has to be more than perfect!  Only filter coffee please- the decoction just right, the chicory content- correct to the decimal, milk and sugar calibrated with a test tube. Above all, the temperature has to be exact on the tongue scale. Offer him a lukewarm cup of coffee and he shows his disgust- "Can't I dream of a good cup of coffee at least? How many times have I told you that it has to be hot- piping hot!"

"I play the pipe, but there is not much money or interest in it these days", confesses an outspoken musician. "I don't like to blow my own trumpet! I fall in the same lineage as the maestro Rajaratnam Pillai, but my pet peeve is that nadaswaram artistes like me have got relegated to just these marriage halls. All that they want is a group of people to sit in a corner, play the pipe and make some noise! My dream was to make it big- to play the pipe at the Academy during the Music Season. It's going to remain a pipe dream saar!"

English is a funny language all right. "A fiddler on the roof" is actually fiddling with his fiddle and not involved in any objectionable activity. And yes, non-fiddlers too can play a second fiddle to someone. Enough of this play on words!

When am I going to master all these nuances of the language? It is a pipe dream - I need to drum it into my head!!