Mobile restroom taxis!

We hear that a plan is afoot to have “mobile restroom taxis” in India! Our prayers have been finally answered. How often have we been right on the edge, and there is not one restroom in sight! The desperation cannot be described.

To have a fleet of vehicles running around the city, each housed with a restroom that you can order from your cellphone, is like manna from heaven! The idea is laudable, but the implementation can be complicated.

A metropolitan Indian city teems with millions. How many restroom vehicles should be on the road? You are stuck at The Gateway of India and want to use the restroom immediately. You book one of these mobile restrooms and find that your restroom is languishing at Dombivili and will take over an hour to reach! Time hangs like an eternity. The consequent helplessness can only be imagined!

At the other end of the spectrum is this scenario- you are tracking the taxi by the minute. It is almost there. At the nick of time, the driver cancels your request. Imagine the client’s agony- being so close and yet so far. It would leave him completely high and dry, rather low and wet, in this particular case!

Other challenges come to mind. You heave a sigh of relief and are about to step into the restroom. The taxi-driver suddenly says, “Sir, the OTP is not matching! You cannot use!” Truly, there can be many a slip between the cup and the lip!

Traffic rules must change. Restroom taxis must be fitted with sirens and given top priority, like the ambulance and the fire-engine! Rest-room taxis should have graded levels- a basic version with minimal fittings and a luxury version. There should also be an option- “Give me any version quickly! I am desperate!”

To be commercially viable, how much are we willing to pay? Should we have a bidding scheme based on the level of emergency so that the highest bidder gets the vehicle? There should also be a provision to schedule rest-room taxis in a recurring manner. That way, when we are on the move, the restroom availability can be synchronized with our body clock.

The taxi is waiting at the signal on the way to service a customer. Someone frantically knocks on the windows! He issues threats, “Allow me to use the restroom now, or watch what I do!” How does the driver respond to these panic attacks?

End of the day, these vehicles will make long distance travel comfortable. Especially for the aged, it ushers in a new era where they can move with total freedom! After all, the basic human need is “roti, kapda, makaan and a mobile restroom!”