Swallowing a tablet!

There are 2 schools of thought when it comes to swallowing a tablet. In the first approach, you place the tablet on the tongue, and gulp it down with water. This method seems most intuitive, however, there is one snag. There is a timespan between the tablet still on the tongue and yet to be gulped down. For some,  the 2 seconds of bitterness can be revolting. They protest, “I feel like vomiting now!” It is a perfect catch-22 situation- To stop their vomiting, they need the tablet. But the tablet is bitter and causes the vomit!

The second school says, “You sip water, hold it in your mouth, pop the tablet in and gulp it down! You won’t feel any bitterness!” This approach has its own pitfalls. When the mouth is puffed up with water, you need a juggler’s dexterity to open the mouth and pop in the pill!  It is complicated like opening opposite valves at the same time. The water successfully evades the food-pipe and goes down a different pipe! A paroxysm of coughing ensues.  The water along with the tablet is violently ejected out of the nose, mouth and all else. You are now back to square one!

Some folks claim they cannot swallow because of a physiological problem. You counter them, “What do you mean you cannot swallow? Just swallow!” “My food-pipe is as thin as a needle. I always powder the tablet and gulp it!”

We acknowledge some tablets have legitimate issues. They are so oversized that you wonder if they will go down all the way, or like the mythological character Trishanku, stay suspended somewhere midway!

For some ailments, the doctor prescribes a platter full of tablets. The ailment needs the antibiotic. The antibiotic causes an upset stomach. The stomach upset needs a second tablet. The second tablet plugs all apertures indefinitely, for which you need a third tablet! You are swallowing tablets through the day. The proverb, “one swallow does not make a summer” makes perfect sense!

Within the tablet family, is the odd man called “capsule”.  Styled like a rocket’s capsule, the plastic shell raises a question.  Today’s slogan is “say no to plastic”. What happens to this capsule? The last thing you want is for your insides to be a plastic junkyard, with mounds and mounds of capsule plastic, littered all over!

Why can’t we create a “tasty tablet”? We agree it is an oxymoron, but all bitter tablets can be sugar coated to make the “customer experience” mildly satisfying! Finally, we come to a tangential point. Why on earth are some computers called “tablets”? What does this tablet cure? Is it the disease of boredom?