Speed breakers!

During our recent road-trip to Udupi, I was suddenly jolted out of sleep. “Have we hit the ghat-section already? We are going uphill, aren’t we?” I blabbered incoherently, still drowsy. “No! Not yet! That was just a speed breaker!” our driver, Murthy saar replied.

On some of these highways, it does feel there is less road and lot more breakers. It’s like a game of snake-and-ladders. In a couple of squares, there’s always one enormous snake, waiting to gobble you! There is no escape.

There are small waves and big waves in the ocean. And then, there are tsunamis. So too, in the speed breaker world- there are small breakers, big ones and some so monstrous, that the under-belly of the car registers the breaker-signature, each time it rides over it.

We are told, some foreign-brand cars do not sell in India because “their suspension is too low”. They are just not equipped to negotiate our breakers. It’s like asking that caterpillar-like dog, the Dachshund, to do a pole vault! It is surely a tall order!

Riding over speed-breakers is the ultimate test for a driver. It requires tact and anticipation. If the car is too fast, it can break the back or neck of many an unwary passenger. In addition, a car at speed, can tee-off the speed-breaker, like a plane at take-off. It will be too scary.  

To compensate for the excess speed, you slow down the car to the minimum. And now, the result is the opposite. After climbing the incline of the bump, the car is too slow and stalls midway through the ascent. It slides right back from the bump and comes to a halt. It’s like that reluctant racehorse that finds the obstacle too steep, changes its mind, and stubbornly, refuses to go any further!

In some cases, in addition to the speed-breaker, “obstruction boards” are laid out like a turn-style; with fences arranged in an “S-shaped pattern”. And now, in addition to the vertical jostling, the car is rattled side-ways too. It is a harrowing experience.

A speed breaker with no visible markers, (which is often the case), can be lethal, especially at night.  The slope merges with the rest of the road. Like that mountain “Mainaaka parvata”, that suddenly rose up from the ocean floor and stopped a flying Hanuman midway through his tracks, this speed-breaker catches you totally unawares.

The passengers hit the car-ceiling and are quick to blame the driver, “Can’t you slow down the car to negotiate the bump? Is that too much to ask?” Poor driver! What can he say?

The worst speed-breaker is the “multiple-camel-ride”. Here, multiple speed-breakers are laid out back-to-back. You go over one-hump, descend, go over the second hump, descend, and so on. This pattern repeats as many as five times over. By now, if you have not swallowed a tablet for headache and motion-sickness, you will surely need one.

In India, we look for escape routes all the time. In some cases, the speed-breaker has not been laid out in full- a little carelessness in the execution, you can say.  There’s a tiny patch towards the edge of the road, where the speed-breaker does not extend. This loophole is sufficient. The cars approach the breaker at top-speed and suddenly veer to the open patch, adding chaos, commotion and surely…a lot more danger too.

A close cousin to our speed-breaker is the “wake up zone” on the US highways, designed to keep the car passengers awake. These are not bumps. Rather, an opposite technique is used. The road is scratched, leaving fissures on the surface, like a ploughed field. The car registers a vibration that shakes you up, like sitting atop a drilling machine.

“Do we need such wake-up zones?” I asked. Murthy saar was very clear, “We do not need “wake-up zones” in India at all. We are all wide-awake…all the time…thanks to our roads!”