The tipping point!

“To tip or not to tip! That is the question!” Shakespeare may well be forced to rejig his Hamlet quote to suit today’s time and age.

The situations are many- you are on a road-trip. You step out of the car at the hotel. The “greeter” opens the car door for you, gives you a broad smile, and helps you with the luggage. Next, you order coffee to your room. In a trice, an attendant knocks at your door with a tray of steaming coffee. Later, you are about to finish up lunch at the restaurant. The waiter pauses that extra second just after you pay the bill. In these situations, to tip or not to tip? That is the Shakespearean question!

“Tipping is a feel-good response. It is my way of giving back in howsoever small a way. A 20-rupee note here, a 30-rupee there, costs me little. But it brings a smile to a waiter’s face!” I gave my opinion.

The non-tipper was brutally honest, “No! I never tip. It is a matter of principle. I pay the bill at the restaurant- down to the paise, and then…and then…I simply walk away!”

You question the non-tipper. “What if the waiter gives you a nasty glance for being so tight-fisted and miserly, like Silas Marner? He might even call you dirty names in the vernacular. He may abuse you with “Oye! Kanjoos-makkhi-choos!” or with “Poda! Kanja-pisinaari! Poda!” How will you deal with such a pointed taunt?”

The non-tipper shrugged his shoulders. “Let him! Let him! I don’t care! But, one thing, I never go to the same restaurant twice! That way, I don’t have to confront the disgruntled waiter again! And one more thing- I never make eye-contact once I pay the bill! I look away and slip away!”

The non-tipper continued, “These fellows make good money, you know! Look at that hotel greeter’s dress- so tip-top! More tip-top than you and me! Wearing such a top, you tell me, does he need a tip? Also, what all will you tip? The petrol-pump person asks, "Sir, shall I top-off the petrol? Top-off sir?" and wants a tip-off! The ice-cream vendor adds an extra topping and expects an extra tipping!"

This tip-and-top phrasing was going a little over the top now!

The non-tipper elucidated further, “Why should we tip…I say? Tipping is the tip of the iceberg. It sets in motion a vicious cycle of expectation! The waiter starts expecting a tip from everyone. Didn’t Krishna say, work without expectation, didn’t he? Karmani-eva-adhikaarah-tey…maa phaleshu kadaachana! Didn’t Krishna say that? And now, by tipping, you are encouraging expectation-based bad behavior- exactly what Krishna wanted to condemn!”

“Let’s say, you tip the waiter a hefty sum of 100 rupees.  He gets tipsy seeing such a heady tip. You IT fellows can afford it. Can everyone afford it? No! Will the waiter deliver the same level of service to everyone?  No! And now, who is responsible for artificially inflating the market? You! You, my friend! You!”

“You may ask…what is the way out now? Very simple! Nip it in the bud…right at the tip- don’t tip!”

The debate was getting too heated up. I switched on some music to soothe the non-tipper’s nerves and was about to tiptoe out of the room.  The non-tipper got angrier! “You selected this song on purpose, didn’t you?” I pleaded ignorance and lent my ears to the song that was playing. It was a famous Bollywood song from the 1990s.  It went- “tip-tip-tip-tip barsaa paani!”

It was as though, even the rain had to be tipped…to pour, so the song seemed to say! This was surely the tipping point!