Saturday 8 April 2017

An ode to boredom!

"Don't laugh too much! You will cry later!" - an oft-heard advice from elders and the surest way to rein in the party and flatten it to a damp-squib! How supremely optimistic....we mutter under our breath!
On closer scrutiny, we actually find some correlation in this spoilsport maxim. We don't know if laughter is followed by a bout of crying, but a cathartic emotional spike...invariably peters out into a lull, a plateau of sorts.....into boredom!
Think about the most momentous events when the mind went into a tizzy- the end of the final exams and the onset of vacation....two months of absolute freedom! The euphoria of holidays lasts exactly one week. And then, it sets in......the blanket of boredom...and holds the mind hostage.


How familiar is this conversation-
"I am bored!"
"Why don't you go down and play with your friends?"
"There's no one to play with- Anil is out of town and Sachin...well, he bores me!"
"Why don't you draw for some time?"
"There is nothing to draw. Who wants to draw all the time? It's so boring!"
"Why don't you practice the violin for some time?"
"All the time, practice, practice, practice....I am bored!"
"You joined the library and got some books right? Why don't read them?"
"I already finished the books. There is nothing to read. I am bored."
"Ok. Come and have lunch first".
"What's for lunch? What! Rasam again? 365 days....how can I eat the same boring rasam?"
"You can have lunch and take the cycle out. When the exams were going on, you were so keen to cycle!"
"Yes, that was different. Now, I don't feel like cycling. It's boring! Plus, there is no air in the tire. In this heat, who wants to go out? The cycle shop is anyway closed at this time."
"I think the boredom bug has bitten you! You should bite it back! Why don't they employ you in the construction of the namma metro. You can instantly bore your way through the whole city!"
"Enough of your silly jokes and wisecracks! I am telling you I am bored!"


The foundation of human emotion is boredom. Happiness is a flirt- here today, gone tomorrow. So too with extreme sorrow- it's just a squirt... here and there. But boredom? If all those spikes and troughs of human emotion were to be connected, those connecting dots would be boredom dots! It is surprising that boredom doesn't find a place in the list of rasas. There are 9 of them- shringara (love), raudra (anger), haasya (laughter), veera (courage), bibhatsa (disgust), shaanta (peace), adbhuta (wonder), bhayaanaka (fear) and karuna (compassion). How did someone miss boredom? It is such a glaring omission! A plausible reason is that a bored person is too bored to even document. And, as far as a non-bored person  goes, he suffers from selective amnesia- just doesn't recall how bored he was.... a minute ago. Another possibility is that unlike the more dramatic rasas like love and anger, boredom does not have a face (or a trendy name in Sanskrit). How does a dancer convey boredom to the audience? Think about it. She simply has to walk off the stage. Undoubtedly, such practical limitations exist in its portrayal. However, it would be gross injustice...if in the grand gallery of human emotion, boredom doesn't find a place! It's like forgetting to pencil Tendulkar's name in an All-Time India-Eleven!


The expression of boredom is uniform- a distaste for anything and everything. But the trigger is varied. Boredom strikes in different ways- when you need to plough through the Zilla-Parishad chapter in Civics, or a never-ending technical document filled with unknowns, or an over-enthusiastic talk on the benefits of Mutual Funds. Or stuck in a home, with a Cricket-nut and a Test Match on TV. The same action - ball after ball, over after over, from morning till evening and no access to the TV remote or another channel for 5 full days in a row! Or stuck right in the middle, with music aficionados on either seat, in a classical music concert, you can't make head or tail of. Or a religious sermon you agreed to be a part of, because your friend dragged you into it. It's as if nature has conspired to get back at you with vengeance!
As time hangs still and an exit-strategy non-existent, the emotion swings between extreme boredom and seething anger.


Boredom is a contagious disease. A bored patient has to be avoided like plague. Hug him....counsel him, and before you know, you've contracted the ailment! It just doesn't work. Leave him alone, and he will surely wriggle his way out of boredom. One technique that a bore uses is... to irritate others. It's a ploy- get the other person all worked up and angry....and in the process, shed the boredom-slough. Typically, the bore breaks into a song, sings it badly and repeatedly. It could be "jingle-bells jingle-bells jingle all the way...." through an entire summer afternoon. You tolerate it for ten minutes, for half-hour....may be, a maximum of forty-five minutes. You can't take the jingle anymore- the endless rant which shows no stoppage or progress! "Can you stop singing?" The bore is looking for just this confrontation. The ploy is working. He continues to sing under his breath....with the voice raised to the audible zone in patches. It provokes you more.  "I said....stop singing! It's irritating!" The consequent showdown has ugly scenes all right, but in the process, the boredom disease has been successfully conquered.


Sometimes, you can eat your way out of boredom. You rummage through the store-room looking for something interesting to munch on. The biscuits are boring- the usual Marie and Good-Day and Nice. You move on and explore the Ever-silver vessels. The lid is jammed tight and you open each one expectantly. Of course, none of them is labeled. It's such a dampener- all you find is "dal" and lots of them- "tur", "moong" and what not, or some tamarind or maximum rock-salt. You recall that one of the containers should have some tasty tidbits, some chakli, but can't spot it. After half a dozen tries, you feel your way to a vessel which has been pushed to the back row. This has to be the one...till you find it's the same "tur" dal you laid your hands on...the last round too. It's terribly frustrating. Now, there's just one unexplored vessel. The lid is too tight. In savage anger, you try to scoop the lid out...till the lid, the vessel and the contents fly off in three different directions. You just toppled a kilo of rice flour..... The whole house wakes up from the afternoon slumber and surveys the damage! The bore has succeeded in his mission....there's every emotion except boredom!


End of the day, boredom is natural and healthy. It's the mind's way of rejuvenating itself after an emotional upsurge. It needs that time off, to stay defocused and bored to act as a buffer for life's highs and lows. They say "normal is boring", but a more appropriate statement would be "boring is most normal"!! I am bored now.... Signing off......







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