Airport send offs!

Sending someone off at the airport is never easy. There is a brooding sense of helplessness. It is as if you left the task midway, and without closure, abruptly returned home. Once the person enters the terminal gates, a Lakshman Rekha is drawn- you can go thus far, and no more. It is like a fortress- the draw-bridge is pulled up, the fort-gate is shut tight, and you are left outside, high and dry.

Contrast this with a send off at the railway station. It does not matter that your daughter is over 20 years old and can travel on her own. You get the parental kick that the decision making is still in your hands. At the railway station, you hail for the porter. You haggle over the price. You follow him to the correct carriage. You crosscheck that the name is mentioned in the reservation chart pasted outside.

You decide where the luggage should go- a couple below the seat, and one more on the opposite side, within eye-contact. You sit in the coupe till the train is about to move with repeat Stone-Age instructions, “Be careful- especially with the ticket, cellphone and money! And yes, don’t sleep with your head on the side of the window!”

You wait till the train leaves the station and the back of the last carriage recedes into the distance. The sense of satisfaction is immense and serves as a counterweight to the inevitable pangs of separation.

An airport, on the other hand, is an imposing and confusing place.  Multiple terminals, multiple airlines, domestic flights, international flights- you are overawed by the sheer magnitude. Unlike a railway station, where help is ready and handy, the airport relies entirely on self-help (barring special help for the old and the challenged). You are on your own- getting the luggage cart, lifting the suitcases and dragging the cart around. And battle with many an obstacle- checking in, security check, immigration, customs and what not.

Once a person walks through the terminal gates, it’s as if you are watching a movie. You can watch through the glass-walls, but you cannot change the plot. Parental anxiety takes over, scrutinizing every move. “Did she take back the passport after showing it to that security man? Why is she so distracted? You got to be 100% attentive!” You raise your voice here, as though your daughter can hear and respond, forgetting she is a good 150 meters away, behind the sound-proof, glass fortress.

“Why is she lugging the suitcase in that direction where there are no counters? Can’t she ask someone? For heaven sake, ask! Ask if you don’t know! Ask!” It is like back-seat driving- you unconsciously press the brake and accelerator, but the car continues to move on, with a mind of its own.

In the milling crowd inside the terminal, it’s easy to lose track. “Where did she go now? Where did she go? I just saw her!” Wife prods, “She’s standing next to that pillar, the third one from the front. Can you see?” You move around, to find a different vantage point with a better view, peering through the glass wall, this way and that, till a security guard restrains you, “Sir, you have to go back and stand! You are obstructing other people!”

In a train journey, you cozy up to co-passengers quickly. They become just like family. At airports and in airplanes, you find different people- a non-committal, apathetic, reserved bunch, that stays silent and aloof. May be, the setting does that to people. It is as though the “milk of human kindness” does not run through those veins at all!

The movie ends abruptly. Daughter walks off into the distance, takes the escalator and melts into the crowd. The suitcase-cart is not in hand. She must have checked in successfully, you infer. There is no point in waiting any more, though the flight takes off 3 hours later!

As we head home, we realize the futility to micro-manage and control every detail. We learn to worry less, and let-go more.  A greater cosmic power will protect, care, and shape the lives of everyone, including our children. We submit to that power- like a feather submits to the breeze and allows it to be carried to lands, new and exotic- hawaayein, hawaayein… ley jaayein tujhe kahaan….na mujhko khabar, na tujhko pataa…