What's in a name?

Recently, I got a call from the HR department, that my name was not matching with the other records they have. I had to furnish all the details- passport, Aadhar card, PAN card etc. I discovered there were minor differences between these documents. Either my name had a slight variation, or my father’s name, sometimes both.

This is not the first time that my name has led to issues. Almost the entire world works on the premise that everyone has 3 parts to the name- “first name”, “father’s name” and “surname”. It has to follow a pattern like “John F Kennedy (JFK)” and “Sachin Ramesh Tendulkar (SRT)”.

People from the southern part of India face a peculiar problem. We don’t have a surname. “What do you mean you don’t have a surname?” “Yes, I don’t have a surname sir. I have a name, that’s all!” “What about your father? Does he have a surname?” “My father also does not have a surname. He also has only a name!”  Thankfully, he didn’t go further up, in my ancestry, but the sense of bewilderment was apparent.

Across the globe, any form carries 3 separate spaces to be mandatorily filled. If it is an online form, it is a greater stick in the mud and will not allow you to proceed to the next line, until you have filled all items.

The root of the problem starts here and haunts you right through life. Depending on the mood of the day, I have tried different antics. In some, I repeated, “Shankar Shankar Shankar”. In some, I filled “Shankar Gopalkrishnan Gopalkrishnan”. Sometimes, I tried other combinations, “Gopalkrishnan Shankar Gopalkrishnan”. If I was particularly cranky, I tried initials- “Shankar G G” or “G Shankar G” or “G G Shankar”. I took advice from informed people. “See! We call them Gavaskar, Pataudi etc. because that’s their surname. If you want to be called Shankar, put that as your surname! With this sage advice, I have school certificates sequenced the opposite way- as “Gopalkrishnan Shankar”.

I have often toyed with the idea of “manufacturing” a surname. Some people use their profession- like Farokh Engineer or Bejan Daruwala. May be, I can be “computerkar”. Others use their native place as a surname. Musicians like Lalgudi and Semmangudi have place-oriented surnames. But what if you are born in a metropolis? It will look plain silly to be called “Bombay Shankar! “Hey Bombay! Come here!” Also, what should you do when Bombay is changed to Mumbai? What if the native place is a mouthful like Tirupaapuliyur or Tiruvidaimarudur? You would run out of ink or have no space on the form, leaving your name dangling midway- something like “Shankar Tirupaapu”!

Across the Atlantic, the surname is called “last name”.  At immigration, they often ask you, “Sir, what is your “last name”?” You wonder how you should answer- “Last name? I don’t recall who called me names...last. Hopefully he didn’t call me an idiot!” Jokes apart, they have a fourth category to the name in these places called “preferred name” or “chosen name”. It is a nickname. You wonder if you should write something like “Bunty” or “munna”- so that you would read Shankar “munna” Gopalkrishnan in full! It’s easy for the American. He writes “Jack” which is apparently a nickname for John- as simple as that!

Well before the children were born, we already had a surname fabricated and ready for them. We didn’t want them to go through this identity crisis. Their first names came much later. This created a fresh problem. At times, you need to prove that the children are related to you at the immigration desk. If they go by their own last names, and you do not have one, how do you prove you are one family?

Didn’t someone say, “What’s in a name? A rose by any other name, would smell as sweet”? Apparently, the gentleman who wrote this, followed this advice too. There are at least 6 different ways he signed his works- William Shakp, William Shaksper, Wm Shakspe, William Shakspere, Willm Shakspere and finally William Shakespeare.

If this bard had lived in today’s day and age, his works would have been dismissed as non-authentic. And even if he got past this hurdle, he would have got stuck at the immigration desk. “Guru! We don’t care if you are Shakespeare…ok aa?  Your passport-name does not match your 10th class school-certificate name ok aa? First, get 3 xerox copies of these documents signed, stamped, and endorsed by a gazetted officer…ok aa? Then, we will allow you. Ok aa?”