Piped music!

A peculiar form of music is “piped music”. The peculiarity of this musical form is that you do not hear it. But the music is everywhere. You go to the mall, it is heard in the background. You go to the airport, the music is in the air. You wait over the phone for the “next available representative”, you catch the music. You take the lift in a high-rise building- piped music fills in.

Recently, I was strapped to a dentist’s chair. The dentist administered an injection to numb the tooth and stepped away for the anesthesia to take effect. As I waited out the10 minutes agonizingly, I suddenly heard something- piped music was playing. That was the first time I listened to the music with attention.

Piped music has certain unique aspects. Firstly, it is at a volume, where you can barely hear it. It must be at that exact decibel and no more. Secondly, you do not know where the music is coming from. There appears to be no source- no visible speakers anywhere. The volume does not increase or ebb as you walk around.  It is truly in the air.

The music is mostly instrumental- a combination of trumpet and drums. It is typically Western music. Indian melodies are yet to make inroads into piped music. May be, we are too loud and noisy for this genre. Another requirement is that the tune must be completely unknown. “Hey! I recognize this beautiful song! It is from the movie….” Not one comment of appreciation has ever been made about piped music.

Piped music has no beginning or end. It has no pause. Like the waves of the ocean, it plays over and over relentlessly, in an infinite loop. Most musical forms have an inbuilt structure- the song has a certain build-up, a crescendo and a finale. Piped music has none- it plays at the same somber pace, tirelessly.

I have often imagined a conversation with a piped music artiste. The artiste says, “That music- I scored it!” My reply, all surprised, “Which music? Where?” The artiste says, “The one in the background!” And now, my reaction, “O yes! I hear it now! Why don’t you use any popular tunes in your piped music- something like…say “ek-do-teen”?”

The artiste clicks his tongue disapprovingly, “A popular tune will never work for piped music. Imagine, someone is in the mall, taking the escalator. He hears the music, identifies with it, and starts dancing instinctively. On an escalator, it can be a terrible hazard…no? Or take your case- the dentist is using his drill and working on your tooth. At that opportune moment, your ear catches raag Jhinjhoti, and you shake your head vigorously in appreciation- “Wah! Baley! Baley!” You see? The distraction can be lethal!”

I had a pressing question, “Why are you in this form of music, if no one is hearing it?”

The artiste smiles patronizingly, “That is the beauty of piped music. You must never hear it. But mind you, if it is absent, you will feel the loss immediately…I tell you immediately! It is like the air that you breathe. What if I took it away for a few minutes? Piped music is like that! Imagine if you waited “for the next available representative” on the phone for 20 minutes without piped music. By then, you would have pulled out your hair and uprooted all your fingernails… in frustration. Piped music is the balm that keeps you peaceful, calm, and sane. You realize its importance now?”

I nodded my head in agreement. The artiste was now on a roll, “In a world where everyone is an attention seeker, and wants to be heard, a piped musician is the opposite. He is a yogi- he does not want to be heard! And his music… hearing…shrnvan…you hear not… seeing…pashyan… you see not, touching…sprshan…you touch not. It has that kind of unobtrusive quality. It is like space, it is present…everywhere…and yet, you do not recognize it! That is piped music! You get it?”

He was getting out of hand. I had to stop him now, “Guru! I get it. I completely get it!”