The rat race!

Right from the beginning, we are asked to “run fast”, since we are in a “rat-race”. Whether we are trying to clear the10^th standard boards, or the later competitive exams, apparently, it is the same rat-race. You better run fast. Lining up for a US visa and climbing the corporate ladder are all mini races within the same mother rat-race. It begs a question, what makes it a rat-race? We get an eloquent explanation, “It is the streak of competitiveness, the ability to bulldoze your way and surge ahead, and the will to win, at all costs- that’s the cardinal tenet of a rat-race”.

It is aptly said, “Even if you manage to win a rat-race, you will still be a rat!” The irony is, we have never seen a rat…race. Rats are a lot smarter than compete in meaningless races. Rats are brisk, energetic, and enterprising fellows! Unlike humans, with their penchant for “one-upmanship”, rats are complete team players. They work in groups, busily nibbling away at every obstacle, in rain or in shine.

I have grown up watching rats. In Mumbai, our building had an abundant share of rats. These rats were rotund, fed on excess food that was generously discarded from the kitchen window.  They had grown to massive proportions, into full-blown bandicoots, the size of pigs. Many attempts were made to cement the building floor, fill the rat-holes, and drive the rodent away. But they were tenacious creatures. It didn’t matter if the floor was cement or concrete or granite. They still managed to tunnel their way.

It raises a pertinent question. Thanks to the unending metro construction, most Indian cities have been turned upside down. Can’t we think of an out-of-the-box, “jugaad” solution to build underground metro lines, using rats? All we need is an army of rats, and a Pied Piper to streamline their activity. In no time, all the underground tunnels, snaking through the entire city, will be ready. Say “no” to burrowing machines wreaking havoc. We need an environment friendly, non-mechanized, organic solution. Rats are silent workers- plus, they can burrow a lot faster.

Rat traps have always fascinated me. I have never seen a rat-trap. But the complete design of the rat-trap is etched in my mind.  I owe this profound knowledge to my uncle who brought the world of rat-traps alive through his animated stories. “A rat trap is a cage. It has a mechanized door that stays upraised initially. Inside the rat trap is a hook, to which you hang a piece of “vada” to entice the rat!”

 “What vada is it, uncle? Do rats like “medhu-vada” more? Or do they prefer “batata-vada”?” I couldn’t wait to hear the rest of the story. Uncle continued, “The rat enters the cage and nibbles at the vada.  The vibration triggers the mechanical door, that comes crashing down and shuts the cage. The rat is now trapped!”

That was the theory. Reality was vastly different. Like today's "learning AI models", rats learnt the art to eat the vada without disturbing the mechanical door. In the morning, you scrutinized the rat-trap. The vada was gone, and so was the rat. At least, you need not have wasted the vada on a rat.

A couple of years before the pandemic, there was an interesting incident at my workplace. Apparently, the office premises were plagued by a constant “rat menace”, especially at night. We never saw these rats during the day. Maybe, they doubled up as IT engineers. One fine day, my colleague stepped on a yellow piece of foam lying by the side of the meeting-room. Suddenly, his foot was arrested, as though in Fevicol. Caught off-balance, he tried to save himself with his hand. Lo and behold, now, his hand was stuck. To save this colleague, another one rushed by his side, stepped on the same foam and now, he too was glued to the adhesive! It was like the “Yaksha Prashna” story in the Mahabharata. You tried to help someone and fell a victim to the same crisis.

The scene was strangely comical, but you couldn’t openly laugh! After all, here were two fellows caught in a trap, flailing their hands and legs helplessly.

Eventually, we managed to separate them from the glue. The security guard was summoned. He informed that the yellow foam, was meant to catch rats! You are right- the rat would step on this foam and would stay glued for life!

Not a single rat succumbed to this trick. Herein was yet another telling example- man has grandiose plans; he builds an elaborate trap, and in the process, like the proverbial silkworm, gets himself entrapped!

As they say, “the best laid plans of men and mice, often go awry!”