Horn ok please!

Among unsolved mysteries, “Horn ok please”, will stay right at the top. This pithy message is painted behind every truck. We may have deciphered the hieroglyphic script in ancient Egypt. One day, the puzzle of the Mohenjo Daro script will be solved. But “horn ok please” shall continue to elude us.

We surmise “Horn ok please” must be some kind of “maha-vakya” like “tat twam asi”. We are sure the meaning is subtle and sublime. We try our best to understand the content, by re-arranging the words. Does it mean “All is ok with you? Then, please sound the horn!” Or “Is your horn ok? Then, please sound it!” Whichever way we look at it, we are dissatisfied with the outcome.

However, “horn ok please” has inspired us for generations. We’ve taken to sounding the horn, as naturally as...a fish takes to water. Sometimes, we get visitors from the US who complain, “Why is everyone honking?” We knit our eyebrows, all puzzled, and ask a counter question, “You said honking, did you? When? Where?”  “All around us! Can’t you hear?” is the retort. That’s when we align our ears to the noise and suddenly exclaim, “O yes! I hear it now! Never even realized anyone was honking!”

From the style of honking, you can gauge the mood of the person, behind the wheel. That is the beauty!  If the horn sounds with a short, crisp “beep” at each crossroad, it reflects a “cheery” person. All is good with himself and with the world around him. A person who is in a mad-rush to reach the railway station, conveys his impatience with a continuous round of “beep-beep-beep”. His intent is clear through the horn, “Get out of the way, you slobs! I have no time!”

The horn can convey “anger”. This is seen when the traffic-signal turns green and the vehicle in front, shows no urgency to start. The horn is sounded with a certain “continuum in the duration”- it is one long “beeeeep”. The horn taunts the person, “You sleepy head! Wake up! Wake up and move your car!”

The horn can indicate “frustration”. This mood is sensed when you are stuck in a traffic jam. For 45 minutes, you stay rooted to the same spot. You have no idea what the delay is due to. “When is this jam going to clear? God! I cannot take this anymore!” How do you express this intense frustration? By honking!  You honk without reason, without taking your fingers off, knowing fully well, there’s no one to hear you, or respond to your plea!

The entire gamut of human emotion, shringaara, raudra, bibhatsa…you name it, the nava-rasas can be conveyed through a simple horn.

Horns come in different flavors. In the good, old days, auto-rickshaws had a “suction-horn”. You pressed the bulbous, balloon-like object and it let out a low-pitch, strangulated yelp. Then came the inter-state buses fitted with the “electric horn”. Like “trigger-happy” goons, inter-state drivers are “honk-happy” folks. They cannot drive without sounding the horn- like taking a lick of pickle for every morsel of curd-rice. At the end of the journey, you are left with a strong headache. In some cases, the cars are fitted with a “jingle”, a popular tune that plays automatically, each time the vehicle backs up. The regularity with which the song plays, it is the perfect recipe…that soon, very soon, you will detest the song with your entire being!

All is quiet. It is 2 am. Pin drop silence. Peace and tranquility reigns. Like a blanket, the night has spread itself out, enveloping the entire world in its cozy ambit. And then, comes the anti-climax. Out of the blue, the burglar-alarm sounds from one of the parked cars. It scares the living daylights out of you. It is a high-pitched shriek, followed by a continuous “clank-clank-clank” and then, the sound goes back to the shriek. This pattern continues- “shriek-clank-clank-shriek-clank-clank”. Street dogs bark in anger. The entire neighborhood is wide-awake, some peering out of the balcony. Imagine if every car was fitted with this monstrous horn?

After 20 minutes of absolute mayhem, sanity returns. Maybe, the burglar walked away with the car. We cannot thank him enough. Maybe, the owner turned the alarm off. Maybe, a good samaritan came down with a cricket bat and broke the car down, along with its horn.

Whichever way, we are perfectly fine...and go back to sleep!