Hydrate yourself!

“Hydrate yourself” is a popular mantra. We see it everywhere- on social media, in the newspapers, in the self-help books and even on the flight. “Be sure to drink 6-8 glasses of water each day!” is a uniform piece of advice. Sometimes, more details are added, “Warm water, on an empty stomach, first thing in the morning, is preferable”. And at times, “A pinch of jeera added to the water cleanses the entire system.”

When paparazzies send us pictures of our favorite actors and actresses going to the gym, an unmissable accessory, is the fancy water-bottle in their hands. It is an immediate reminder to hydrate ourselves.

The importance of this advice is undeniable. It is the implementation that faces challenges. Imagine if I drank a gallon of water and started for my office. Midway through the journey, stuck in traffic at Silk-Board junction, for over 45 minutes, what will I do? I may have to abandon the car forthwith...and run to the restroom!  

Back then, in the good, old, days…the train ride from Mumbai to Roorkee took 36 hours (on paper). Using the train-restroom was not for the faint-hearted. A bio-break had to wait till you reached the university. “Hydrate yourself” had to be tempered with more practical concerns.

Executives from the US, when they travel to India, are notorious in following “hydrate yourself” to an extreme. Maybe, they fear that the Indian heat will consume them. When this executive visits the office in India, he is armed with a plastic water-bottle. As he sits in the meeting, every few seconds, he takes a swig from the bottle.  In no time, he has finished off a bottle, and reached out for another. That done, he reaches out for the third.

You keep staring at him with a growing sense of alarm. You feel like telling him, “Dude! They say…Sage Agastya drank the entire ocean. At least, Agastya was considerate and drank only ocean water. If you consume fresh water like this, what will remain for the rest of us? In your country, you have the Great-Lakes. But, mister, remember, you are in India! We have 1.4 billion people here. All of us rely on the vagaries of the monsoon. At this rate, you will deplete the entire water table. Have some mercy on us!”

The office-boy steps into the meeting room with a fresh stock of water-bottles. You feel like lashing out at him, “As it is, this man is sucking the Kaveri River dry. And you are adding more bottles? Have some common sense please!”  This time, you pocket a bottle, even if you aren’t going to touch it. At least, one bottle can be saved from the other’s clutches!

The mind is filled with more creative strains of thought. You are suddenly reminded of the camel. You wonder, “Maybe, he thinks…he must drink all the water today, because he may not get water tomorrow!” You want to calm him down and assure him, “Mister! Don’t worry! You will get water tomorrow also to “hydrate yourself”. By God’s grace, there is still some punya left in this land. You need not drink all the water now and store it in your hump, like a camel!”

Imagination runs riot. By now, you can spot a hump growing on his back, as he empties another bottle. You wonder if he will have only one hump like the Indian camel, or 2 humps like the Central-Asian camel. Soon, you can no longer see the person in the meeting-room. His place is taken over by a camel. The more you look, more features seem to match.

The corners of your mouth curl up into an impish smile and a giggle almost escapes the mouth. By now…the meeting room…the meeting...the problem under discussion…the pros and cons of the proposed solution…everything has been wiped out...clean...from the mind’s canvas!

Suddenly, I hear my name. It is my manager’s voice. He asks a pointed question, “Shankar, what is your opinion on this? How long will it take to implement this solution?” The directness of the question breaks the reverie. When you are caught napping, it is tough to give a coherent answer immediately.

I take my time. I open the cap of the water-bottle slowly, hydrate myself, clear my throat, and wear a pensive look. “Well, the solution is good, but we need to deep-dive more...into the details,” is my non-committal reply, as I take another sip.