The book-browser!

Yes, I am a “book-browser”. I browse through books at the bookstore, but I never buy a single book! My defense is this- my wife and children have bought enough and more books from the same bookstore, for over a decade. Those purchases should surely give me some additional perks, shouldn’t they? Why can't I be a book-browser then?

Every evening, I walk to this bookstore at the mall. The only variable in my daily, well-oiled routine is to pull out a book at random! Yes! Open a random book to a random page. That done, I will carefully browse through that one page, as though, it has a specific, pointed message meant for me, for that day! It takes me exactly 10 minutes for this entire exercise. That done, I will place the book back in the shelf and leave the bookstore.

It is a routine that I have followed for months, may be, years. About 2 weeks ago, an attendant manning the aisles, accosted me as I read my book-for-the-day. He said, “Sir! 5 minutes!”  I was puzzled. Never has someone delivered such a pointblank, abrupt message to a book-browser.

After all, a book-browser is well-versed with all the tricks that storeowners use to evict him. An attendant will suddenly appear out of nowhere, to re-arrange the books on that one shelf, against which, the book-browser is leaning. But a book-browser knows how to deal with these attempts to thwart him. He side-steps the attendant and walks away, carrying the book in his hand. Standing at a different corner of the store, he continues his browsing.

Soon, someone comes along and pops a question, “Can I help you sir? Is there a specific book that you are looking for…sir?”  The book-browser is a seasoned campaigner. Experience has taught him to respond with an evasive answer, “No! Thank-you! I can help myself!” and buries himself back in the book.

Next, a security man comes his way. The trick is to avoid eye-contact with any security person.  That singular act renders the security man defenseless. You casually turn around and face the other way, till he goes past you. In some time, he is sure to appear from the opposite end of the aisle. You repeat the same tactics- turn around, face the other way, and continue your reading.

The other nasty methods that bookstore owners use…is to switch off the fan and the lights, in that specific section of the store. Or they broadcast the recorded message, "The store is about to close in 10 minutes!" Why do bookstore folks harbor such obvious hatred for the book-browser, we wonder.

The book-browser is often asked, “Why don’t you buy the blessed book?” People miss the point. The book-browser is not a book reader. A book-browser has neither the patience nor the attention-span to read a book. He is incapable! He simply likes the company of the book.  He likes the feel of the book resting on his palm, he likes to twirl the pages a few times and perhaps read a page or two. And yes, he likes to flit from book to book, like a bee stopping for a moment or two, at each flower! He feels erudite, informed, and knowledgeable in handling the book, without reading it ever…in its entirety! Why can’t we allow the book-browser this innocent pleasure, I say?

“5 minutes only!” the security person curtly repeated at the bookstore. I asked him, “5 minutes for what?” He replied, “For reading the book!”

Strangely, ironically, the book in my hand was a copy of the Bhaagavata Puraana. As per tradition, this book had a timespan associated with it. King Pareekshit had exactly 7 days to internalize this material. The story goes that the king successfully completed the study in those 7 days. And here was this security person saying I had “5 minutes” to read the same book!

I read the book for the full 5 minutes. And once the 5 minutes was over, I placed the book back in the shelf and headed home!